Supporting a Survivor: What Friends and Family Can Do
If someone you care about has experienced sexual abuse or misconduct by a school employee, you may be asking:
What can I do? How do I help? What if I say the wrong thing?
These are normal questions—and the good news is, your support can make a powerful difference. While professional help is essential, friends and family play a key role in healing and recovery. Here are some compassionate, practical ways to support a survivor in your life:
1. Listen Without Judgment
Be present. Let your loved one speak when ready, and avoid pushing for details. Offer your full attention, validate their experience, and remind them:
“This was not your fault.”
Your calm, steady presence helps rebuild trust and safety.
2. Believe Them
One of the most important things you can say is: “I believe you.”
Many survivors fear not being believed or being blamed. Your words matter. Express support without questioning or doubting what they share.
3. Encourage Reporting—But Don’t Pressure
If your loved one feels ready, encourage them to report the misconduct to:
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A school administrator or Title IX coordinator
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Law enforcement
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State child protection services
Let them know that reporting can help protect others. But respect their pace and choices—it’s their story to tell.
Read more about how to report abuse and Title IX rights and school responsibilities in our FAQ.
4. Be Available
Survivors may need different things at different times—someone to talk to, someone to sit with in silence, or someone to laugh with. Consistency matters.
Show up, check in, and offer support without expecting anything in return.
5. Suggest Writing or Journaling
Creative expression can help survivors process pain. Gently suggest they try journaling, drawing, or using voice notes. This can give them a safe space to reflect and heal privately.
6. Watch for Red Flags and Speak Up
If you notice inappropriate behavior from a school employee—even if it seems minor—report it. Small boundary violations can be early signs of grooming. Your voice may help stop abuse before it escalates.
You can learn more about red flags in our FAQ here. Click here to learn how to report abuse.
7. Encourage Professional Help
Support your loved one in finding a trauma-informed therapist or counselor. These professionals are trained to help survivors process complex emotions and regain control.
You can help them:
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Learn how to find a provider here
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Ask their school counselor or healthcare provider for referrals
8. Take Care of Yourself
Supporting a survivor can be emotionally intense. It’s okay to seek help for yourself, too. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Consider speaking with a counselor or joining a support group for friends and families of survivors.
Need Help or Have Questions?
The National Center to Stop Educator Sexual Abuse, Misconduct, & Exploitation is here for you. Whether you need information, emotional support, or help finding resources, we’re ready to assist.
More questions? Visit our FAQ here.