For Parents and Caregivers | National Center to S.E.S.A.M.E.

Resources for Parents

Parents: Knowledge Protects

Helping Parents Keep Children Safe — Every Day

School safety isn’t seasonal.

It’s not just September. It’s not just January.

Every day is back to school when it comes to protecting children.

The National Center to Stop Educator Sexual Abuse, Misconduct & Exploitation (NCSESAME) exists to help parents and caregivers understand risks, recognize warning signs, and take action when something doesn’t feel right.

Knowledge protects. Awareness saves time. Action protects children.

What Parents Need to Know

Most abuse does not begin with violence.

It begins with grooming — a pattern of behaviors used to gain access, trust, and silence.

Grooming can look like:

Special attention or favoritism
Boundary-blurring (private time, private messages)
Gifts, favors, or “rules” that don’t apply to others
Requests for secrecy
Gradual isolation from peers or trusted adults

Understanding grooming helps parents intervene before harm escalates.

Know the Adults in Your Child’s World

Every adult with access matters.

This includes:

Teachers and aides
Coaches and trainers
Counselors and tutors
Volunteers and mentors
Substitute staff and contractors

Ask:

Who supervises my child — and when?
What training does the school or organization provide?
What are the rules around private communication and one-on-one time?
How are concerns reported and handled?

Being informed is not being suspicious.
It’s being protective.

No Secrets

A critical safety message for children:

Safe adults do not ask kids to keep secrets.

This includes secrets about:

Gifts or special favors
Private conversations or messages
Time spent alone
“Rules” that override family expectations

Teach children the difference between surprises (which are temporary and joyful) and secrets (which make them uncomfortable or afraid).

Know How to Report — Before You Need To

If there is a concern about sexual misconduct involving an educator or school employee:

Report to law enforcement first
Do not rely solely on internal school handling
Document what you observe and what your child shares
Trust your instincts — early reporting protects children

Many parents hesitate because they’re unsure what rises to the level of a report. If you are suspicious, report!

When in doubt, ask professionals — not institutions.

When You Need Help

You don’t have to navigate this alone.

NCSESAME supports parents, survivors, and concerned adults by providing:

Clear, evidence-based information
Guidance on reporting and next steps
Connections to trusted resources and advocates

If something doesn’t feel right, it deserves attention.

Reach out to NCSESAME
Explore our resources
Listen to survivor and expert voices on our podcast, Crossing the Line

Stay Informed

High-value information. No spam. Just what parents need to know.

Knowledge protects — every day of the year.

Supporting a Survivor: What Friends and Family Can Do

If someone you care about has experienced sexual abuse or misconduct by a school employee, you may be asking:

What can I do? How do I help? What if I say the wrong thing?

These are normal questions—and the good news is, your support can make a powerful difference. While professional help is essential, friends and family play a key role in healing and recovery. Here are some compassionate, practical ways to support a survivor in your life:

1. Listen Without Judgment

Be present. Let your loved one speak when ready, and avoid pushing for details. Offer your full attention, validate their experience, and remind them:
“This was not your fault.”

Your calm, steady presence helps rebuild trust and safety.

2. Believe Them

One of the most important things you can say is: “I believe you.”

Many survivors fear not being believed or being blamed. Your words matter. Express support without questioning or doubting what they share.

3. Encourage Reporting—But Don’t Pressure

If your loved one feels ready, encourage them to report the misconduct to:

A school administrator or Title IX coordinator
Law enforcement
State child protection services

Let them know that reporting can help protect others. But respect their pace and choices—it’s their story to tell.

Read more about how to report abuse and Title IX rights and school responsibilities in our FAQ.

4. Be Available

Survivors may need different things at different times—someone to talk to, someone to sit with in silence, or someone to laugh with. Consistency matters.

Show up, check in, and offer support without expecting anything in return.

5. Suggest Writing or Journaling

Creative expression can help survivors process pain. Gently suggest they try journaling, drawing, or using voice notes. This can give them a safe space to reflect and heal privately.

6. Watch for Red Flags and Speak Up

If you notice inappropriate behavior from a school employee—even if it seems minor—report it. Small boundary violations can be early signs of grooming. Your voice may help stop abuse before it escalates.

You can learn more about red flags in our FAQ here. Click here to learn how to report abuse.

7. Encourage Professional Help

Support your loved one in finding a trauma-informed therapist or counselor. These professionals are trained to help survivors process complex emotions and regain control.

You can help them:

Learn how to find a provider here
Ask their school counselor or healthcare provider for referrals
Call a local rape crisis center for confidential guidance

8. Take Care of Yourself

Supporting a survivor can be emotionally intense. It’s okay to seek help for yourself, too. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Consider speaking with a counselor or joining a support group for friends and families of survivors.

Need Help or Have Questions?

The National Center to Stop Educator Sexual Abuse, Misconduct, & Exploitation is here for you. Whether you need information, emotional support, or help finding resources, we’re ready to assist.