
At the National Center to Stop Educator Sexual Abuse, Misconduct & Exploitation (SESAME), we believe that knowledge is power — and healing begins with truth, reform, education, and transparency. Whether you are a survivor, a family member, an educator, or an advocate, we are here to provide information, support, and tools to help prevent sexual misconduct in schools and to empower those impacted by it.
Frequently asked questions
How can I report suspected school employee misconduct?
Whether the sexual abuse/harassment occurred during one incident yesterday or many times several years ago, reporting it to authorities can be a scary and highly stressful process. Living with the uncertainty of not reporting can be equally painful and debilitating. There is no correct way for all victims. There is no easy way for any victim. We are here to support you through your justice seeking journey with the following recommendations:
Generally speaking, before reporting to any official, it is best to have the emotional support of at least one individual and/or an experienced counseling entity such as the local rape crisis center, community mental health service, or child advocacy center. Do not hesitate to report your sexual abuse directly to your local, county, and state law enforcement agencies, district or state attorney's office, and any child protection agency. All of these have trained sexual abuse investigators and most have supportive victim advocates. Schools have neither.
Non-touching and verbal sexual harassment by school staff should never be ignored. Such inappropriate behaviors are the "red flags" that trained administrators must take seriously. These behaviors may signal the beginnings of the grooming (seduction) process -- or may be indicative of past extensive abuses of power. "A seemingly minor incident of sexual touching by a close and trusted adult can have a profound and lasting impact." (Protecting Our Students: Ontario Attorney General's Report, 2000, p. 134)
Report all incidents to the designated Title IX official at your school. Repeating your complaint to the highest ranking administrator as well might be discouraged but it is to your best benefit. A call to your state's Department of Educator Professional Practice or Teacher Misconduct Office should be made also. All students deserve to have educators who are held to high standards of ethical professionalism. All teacher credentialing units hold a public mandate to be vigilant in their oversight of all who hold certification to teach their state's children.
If you need support, The National Center and our board of experienced professionals can help. Contact us today.
To report abuse or misconduct, contact:
ChildHelp: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) or visit www.childhelp.org
Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673) or visit www.RAINN.org
The Laws In Your State | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network
Can survivors share their stories with you?
Yes. Survivor voices are the heart of our mission. We offer safe, confidential pathways for survivors to share their stories if and when they choose. Click on "Contact Us" to reach us and find out the best way to share your story.
What support is available for survivors and families?
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. Help is available—and you deserve to be safe, heard, and supported.
We offer trauma-informed guidance, connect families to therapeutic and legal resources, provide advocacy resources for legislative reform, and foster supportive community spaces for survivors and allies.
If you need individual support or more information about how we can help, click on "Contact Us." One of our volunteers will get back to you as soon as possible.
We currently do not have a hotline for survivors, but here are other 24-hour hotlines:
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) Phone: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) Website: www.rainn.org
24/7 support for survivors of sexual abuse and assault
Offers live chat and connects callers to local sexual assault service providers
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (formerly the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) Phone: Dial 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Website: 988lifeline.org
24/7 support for suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, or trauma-related crises
Call, text, and online chat options available
Crisis Text Line Text: HOME to 741741 Website: www.crisistextline.org
Free, confidential support via text message
Available 24/7 for any kind of crisis, including abuse, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline Phone: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) Website: www.childhelp.org
24/7 support for children experiencing abuse and concerned adults
Provides assistance in more than 170 languages
How can friends and family members help survivors of school employee sexual misconduct??
Supporting a survivor—especially a child or teen—who has experienced abuse by a trusted school employee can be overwhelming. But your response can make a powerful difference in their healing. Survivors are more likely to recover when they are believed, supported, and given agency over how their story is handled.
Here are meaningful ways to help:
1. Believe them without judgment
Survivors often fear they won’t be believed—especially when the abuser is a well-liked teacher, coach, or authority figure.
Don’t minimize what they share. Avoid questions like “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” or “Are you sure?”
2. Listen and let them lead
Let the survivor decide how much they want to share and when.
Don’t pressure them to talk or take action before they’re ready. Support their choices and let them know you’re here for the long haul.
3. Validate their feelings
Survivors may feel shame, guilt, anger, confusion, or numbness. All of these are normal reactions to trauma.
Assure them: “What happened is not your fault.” “You’re not alone.” “I’m here for you.”
4. Take their safety seriously
If the abuse is ongoing or hasn’t been reported, help them file a report with law enforcement or child protective services.
Offer to go with them or help them find someone they trust to do so.
5. Respect their privacy
Don’t share their story with others unless they ask you to or give you permission.
Respect their need for confidentiality while still ensuring they’re safe and supported.
6. Connect them to professional help
Encourage them to speak with a therapist, counselor, or advocate who is trained in trauma and sexual abuse.
Provide hotline information (like RAINN, Childhelp, or local resources) and offer to help make the call or find services.
7. Be patient and consistent
Healing is not linear. Survivors may pull away, act out, or struggle with daily life.
Stay present. Check in. Let them know you care—over and over again.
8. Take care of yourself, too
Supporting a survivor can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or unsure.
Seek support for yourself so you can be a steady presence for them.
Bottom line: Your compassion, patience, and belief can be a turning point in a survivor’s life. You don’t have to have all the answers—you just have to be there, and let them know they don’t have to walk this path alone.
Where can survivors of educator sexual misconduct and abuse find counseling or trauma-informed therapy?
Survivors of educator sexual abuse deserve access to safe, supportive, and trauma-informed care. Fortunately, there are national and local resources that specialize in helping survivors of sexual violence—many of which offer low-cost or free services and can connect you to qualified therapists in your area.
Where to Start:
1. RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) Website: www.rainn.org Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Offers 24/7 crisis support and an online chat
Can connect survivors to local sexual assault service providers, including trauma-informed therapists
2. State or Local Sexual Assault Centers
Most states have rape crisis centers or child advocacy centers that offer therapy, advocacy, and legal support.
3. National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) Website: www.nctsn.org
Offers a national directory of providers trained in evidence-based trauma therapy for children and adolescents
Helpful for parents seeking support for minors affected by school-based abuse
4. Therapy Directories with Trauma Filters Use online tools to search for licensed therapists in your area who specialize in trauma and sexual abuse:
PsychologyToday.com (filter for “Sexual Abuse” and “Trauma-Focused”)
5. School or Campus Resources
Some school districts and universities offer access to counseling for students and former students affected by educator misconduct. Ask if your school has a Title IX office or mental health referral system.
6. Victim Compensation Programs
Many states have crime victim compensation funds that cover therapy for survivors of sexual abuse—sometimes even years after the incident.
Your local rape crisis center or state attorney general’s office can help you apply.
What to look for in a trauma-informed therapist:
Specializes in child or adolescent trauma, sexual abuse, or complex PTSD
Uses evidence-based approaches (e.g., EMDR, TF-CBT, somatic therapies)
Respects your pace and boundaries
Understands institutional betrayal and power-based abuse
Bottom line: You are not alone—and healing is possible. Whether you’re a survivor, a parent, or a loved one, support is out there. Start with organizations you trust, ask questions, and take the process one step at a time. You deserve care that centers your safety, your voice, and your recovery.
What emotional support can my family and I get during this process?
Experiencing or uncovering educator sexual misconduct is emotionally devastating—not just for the survivor, but for their entire family. Whether you're navigating the trauma, the investigation, or the long road to healing, you don’t have to go through it alone. There are resources and supports available to help your entire family cope, process, and begin to heal together.
Support Available to Families and Survivors:
1. Individual and Family Counseling
Trauma-informed therapists can help survivors and their family members process grief, fear, guilt, anger, and helplessness.
Family therapy can help improve communication, rebuild trust, and create a safe space for healing.
2. Advocacy and Support Services
Many rape crisis centers and child advocacy centers offer free services including crisis counseling, case navigation, legal advocacy, and emotional support for families.
Contact RAINN (1-800-656-HOPE) or search www.rainn.org to find local providers.
3. Peer Support Groups
Survivor support groups (virtual and in-person) offer a space to connect with others who’ve been through similar experiences.
Some programs also offer support groups for parents or caregivers of abused children or teens.
4. Survivor-Focused Nonprofits
Organizations like ours offer referrals, education, and community support tailored to survivors of educator abuse and their families.
Many of these organizations understand the unique challenges of institutional betrayal, public disclosure, and navigating school systems.
5. Trauma-Informed School Advocacy
Some centers offer advocates who can attend school meetings with you, help request accommodations for your child, and ensure they are safe, supported, and not re-traumatized in their school environment.
6. Faith-Based and Cultural Supports
For some families, support from faith leaders or culturally-specific organizations can help reduce isolation and promote healing in ways that feel more personal or community-centered.
What You Can Do as a Family:
Create safe spaces for honest conversations—without pressure or judgment.
Support the survivor’s choices around disclosure, reporting, and healing.
Take care of yourselves, too. Parents and caregivers often carry tremendous guilt or helplessness. Therapy and self-care are not selfish—they’re essential.
Ask for help. There is strength—not weakness—in seeking support.
Bottom line: You’re not alone. The effects of educator sexual abuse ripple outward, and your pain is valid. There are professionals, advocates, and fellow survivors who understand what you’re going through—and who are ready to walk alongside you. Healing is possible, for you and your family.
How do I explain what happened to my friends, teachers, or others?
Explaining that you were harmed by a trusted educator can feel overwhelming, confusing, and deeply personal. You might worry about how others will react, whether they’ll believe you, or how much you’re “supposed” to say. The truth is: you get to decide what to share, when to share it, and who is safe to tell.
There’s no one right way—but here are some options and tips that may help:
1. Start with what feels safe
Choose someone you trust—someone who listens without judgment, respects your boundaries, and makes you feel heard.
It's okay to practice what you want to say or write it down first. You can even ask someone (like a parent, advocate, or counselor) to help you talk to others.
2. Say only what you’re comfortable sharing
You don’t have to share everything. Here are some examples of what you can say if you want to:
“Something happened at school and I’m dealing with it right now. I’m okay, but I’m not ready to talk about the details.”
“I was hurt by someone at school who was supposed to protect me. I’m working on healing, and I just need support.”
“An adult crossed the line with me. It wasn’t okay. I’m getting help, and I hope you’ll understand if I don’t want to explain everything.”
3. Be prepared for different reactions
Some people will respond with love and support. Others may not know what to say, may get uncomfortable, or may even question what happened—especially if they know or admire the person who hurt you.
Remember: their reaction is not your responsibility. What happened is real, and it’s not your fault.
4. Use support systems to guide the conversation
A counselor, advocate, or trusted adult can help you decide what to say, role-play conversations, or even speak on your behalf if needed.
If you're returning to school, you have the right to ask for accommodations and support without having to explain everything to everyone.
5. Give yourself permission to protect your peace
You are not obligated to explain your trauma to anyone—not friends, teachers, classmates, or administrators.
Sharing your story is your choice. You can set boundaries, change your mind, or stop talking at any time.
Bottom line: Telling others what happened is hard—but you don’t have to do it alone, and you don’t owe anyone your full story. What matters most is that you feel safe, supported, and respected as you heal. You’re allowed to take your time—and your voice matters, no matter how or when you choose to use it.
Why don’t more survivors of educator sexual misconduct and abuse come forward?
There are many valid and deeply personal reasons why survivors of educator sexual abuse stay silent—often for years, or even decades. Coming forward is incredibly difficult, especially when the perpetrator is a trusted adult in a position of authority, and the survivor is a young person in a school environment where power dynamics, stigma, and fear can feel overwhelming.
Common barriers to disclosure include:
1. Fear of not being believed
Survivors often worry that adults will side with the teacher or staff member—especially if that person is popular, well-liked, or in a position of authority.
Students may fear being blamed or told they “misunderstood” what happened.
2. Shame, guilt, or self-blame
Abusers often groom students to feel responsible for what happened. Survivors may carry a false sense of guilt or believe they "let it happen."
3. Trauma and confusion
Especially when abuse involves grooming or emotional manipulation, survivors may not recognize the behavior as abuse until much later.
Some may dissociate, repress memories, or struggle to explain what they experienced.
4. Retaliation or social consequences
Students may fear backlash from peers, adults, or the school community. In some cases, they face bullying, social isolation, or academic consequences after speaking up.
5. Institutional betrayal
When schools ignore reports or protect the abuser, survivors may feel unsafe and powerless. Past failed disclosures can discourage future reporting.
6. Lack of safe, trusted adults to confide in
Students with unstable home lives, marginalized identities, or trauma histories may not have adults they trust to help them navigate the reporting process.
7. Legal or procedural hurdles
Survivors may fear being pulled into legal proceedings, not being taken seriously, or being retraumatized by investigations.
Bottom line: Silence does not mean safety. Survivors don’t come forward because the systems around them have made it unsafe or unbearable to do so. That’s why survivor-centered policies, trauma-informed support, and institutional accountability are essential—not just for justice, but for healing and prevention.
If someone does come forward, believe them, support them, and take action. It often takes extraordinary courage.
How can survivors of educator sexual misconduct and abuse be better supported?
Survivors of educator sexual misconduct and abuse often face unique barriers to healing—betrayal by a trusted adult, institutional cover-ups, fear of not being believed, and trauma that unfolds in the very places meant to protect them. Support must be intentional, trauma-informed, and survivor-led.
Here’s how individuals, schools, and systems can do better:
1. Believe and listen—without judgment
The single most powerful form of support is to say, “I believe you. This wasn’t your fault. I’m here.”
Avoid asking why they didn’t speak up sooner or trying to “solve” their pain. Just listen and validate their experience.
2. Create safe environments for disclosure
Survivors need to know they can come forward without fear of punishment, blame, or retaliation.
Schools must ensure clear, confidential, and supportive reporting processes—and follow through with action.
3. Offer access to trauma-informed mental health care
Survivors deserve professional help from therapists trained in sexual trauma, power-based abuse, and institutional betrayal.
Schools, families, and communities should help connect survivors to low-cost, affirming services.
4. Provide academic and social accommodations
Survivors may need time off, changes in schedules, help with concentration or attendance, or options to avoid contact with the perpetrator or their allies.
Title IX, Section 504, and trauma-sensitive practices can all be used to support healing in school settings.
5. Support—not silence—survivors’ voices
Let survivors decide if and how they want to share their story.
Never pressure them to stay quiet “for the good of the school” or because “it’s already being handled.”
Their experience is real, and their voice should be respected.
6. Hold abusers and institutions accountable
Support also means ensuring justice—that the person who caused harm is removed from positions of power and that the institution doesn’t cover up, deny, or downplay abuse.
Survivors should never have to carry the burden of protecting others on their own.
7. Stay consistent
Healing isn’t linear. Survivors may need support weeks, months, or years after the abuse is disclosed.
Check in. Show up. Keep offering care, even when the public attention fades.
Bottom line: Survivors need to be seen, heard, and believed—not managed or dismissed. Support is not about saying the perfect thing; it’s about being present, offering safety, and standing with them through the long process of healing and justice. When survivors are supported, they don’t just survive—they lead change.
Why haven’t we fixed the problem of "passing the trash" yet?
“Passing the trash” refers to the practice of allowing school employees accused of sexual misconduct to quietly resign, often with positive references or confidentiality agreements, so they can work in another school—without anyone knowing about their past behavior. Despite widespread recognition of the problem, it persists because of legal, cultural, and institutional failures.
Why it hasn’t been fixed:
1. Legal loopholes and vague policies
Many states don’t have clear laws requiring schools to report substantiated misconduct to licensing boards or future employers.
In some states, misconduct must meet a high criminal threshold before it’s even considered “reportable.”
Schools can still legally enter into settlement agreements that include non-disclosure clauses, shielding abusers from future scrutiny.
2. Fear of lawsuits and reputational damage
Districts may allow staff to resign quietly rather than face a public firing or legal battle—especially when administrators fear being sued for wrongful termination.
Leaders often believe that minimizing the issue protects the school’s image, even though it puts future students at risk.
3. Lack of communication between districts and states
Inconsistent or non-existent statewide tracking systems mean that educator discipline isn’t always visible to other schools or licensing agencies.
Some states don’t require prior employers to respond fully—or at all—when contacted during a background check.
4. No accountability for administrators who conceal misconduct
Very few states impose real penalties on school leaders who knowingly allow abusers to move on without consequences.
Without enforcement, there’s little incentive for administrators to act differently.
5. Institutional culture of denial
Schools often default to protecting their own—especially if the accused educator is well-liked, long-tenured, or seen as “irreplaceable.”
This culture discourages transparency and prioritizes adult reputations over student safety.
Bottom line: We haven’t fixed “passing the trash” because too many systems still protect institutions—not students. Ending the practice requires strong laws, enforced penalties, transparent reporting, and a culture of accountability at every level of education. Survivors and advocates have led the way—now policymakers, school leaders, and communities must follow.
